As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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