I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
