She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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