Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
