I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
