I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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