And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
