and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
