I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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