Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
