also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
