i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
