The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
