I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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