She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
