He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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