it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
