im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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