why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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