I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
