I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
