Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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