If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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