He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
