I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
