I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
