Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
