Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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