i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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