I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
