he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
