a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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