I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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