He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
