Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
