i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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