I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
