I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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