I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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