he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
