How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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