I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
