im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
