dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Are we still banned from the library?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
