this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
