Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
