It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
