Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need to calm my uterus...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
