The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
