Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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