i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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