so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
