Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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