I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
